The other day I sat at a local café with a new friend in Inverness. After some brief pleasantries and the usual catch-up, our conversation turned to self-care. Although a few years younger than me and still a student, I could relate to her struggles. Struggles of trying to balance work, school, ministry, and friendship. Thoughts of wondering how to be a leader when one is not offered actual leadership development courses. The constant tension of how to maintain and make meaningful time WITH God instead of just FOR Him.
These are all questions and issues I’ve wrestled with myself time and time again. I was honest with her – I know I have the tendency to be a workaholic. I am overly enthusiastic, passionate, and find great satisfaction in serving others, but I can’t do it all. Sometimes as a Christian I particularly face the challenge of what is ministry and what is simply being walkover (or as some might even say “co-dependency.”) It is easy to explain away saying “yes” to every request that comes on my table, but is that truly the best option? Is it really what Jesus would do? Yes, Jesus does want us to reach out and help the lost, the struggling, the sick, and the misfortunate, but should we do it at the expense of our own body and soul? Is there a limit to serving? We cannot serve out of an empty vessel or as one timely quote goes “obviously, you cannot transmit something you haven’t got.”
I remember well the days of burn-out that I’ve faced. I burned out of school, church, and ministry placements (whether paid or voluntary). Burn-out has affected my physical health, my mental state, and my relationships. I remember in seminary trying to do a full course load, working 3 part-time jobs, and also volunteering once a week on top of trying to keep up a rigorous social life. In the end of the day, the thing that should have been the most exciting and fulfilling to me (time with friends) actually ended up just further draining me. My friends became frustrated and resentful saying that I was no longer fun to be around.
Since I’ve started my full-time disability ministry five years ago, self-care has become a large facet of my life. I’ve read a lot of books on it, talked to various ministry practitioners, and even took a week off work to take an academic course “Self-Care In Ministry.” So when April (a woman I consider to be a friend due to our shared online presence) asked me to review her book, I was delighted. Self-Care is an avenue that Yamasaki is clearly passionate about. She has written extensively about it on her blogs and in other books, and it is clear that this is something she very much considers vital to her ministry.
Like I said, I’ve read various books on the topic, so what makes Yamsaki’s book stand out to me compared to the other literature I’ve read? To be honest, there are a lot of self-help books on the shelves at libraries and in bookshops. Most of them are helpful, articulate, and practical. Yet Yamsaki’s book furthers the conversation and adds a new element of depth and dynamism.
Scripture tells us that we are to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength” (Matthew 22:37) and Yamsaki delves into how it would look if we practiced all four of those areas in our self-care. Calling them the “Four Gifts” Yamsaki shares stories, practical suggestions, and illustrations about how community, soul-care (including reflection and lament), engaging the intellect and even how we choose to relate to food, exercise, and sleep can lead to a more fulfilling relationship with God. Furthermore, she explores areas of cultural relevance to our time such as responsible usage of social media and online presence and the growing mental health and sleep deprivation concerns sweeping our world and our nation. She writes from a Canadian viewpoint (which of itself is great, we need more Canadian authors), but her kernels of wisdom can impact anyone regardless of country.
What I particularly appreciated about Yamasaki’s book is that she does not have a “one-size fits all” approach. She recognizes that some suggestions may work well for some and not for others due to various factors. She realizes that self-care may mean eating a slice of chocolate cake one day and choosing to eat vegetarian the next. She exerts that some days self-care may be about NOT doing one’s usual self-care techniques whether journaling or drawing. It is in that sensitive space of permission that I find a desire for self-care is born. Self-care shouldn’t have to feel like a chore, but sometimes it is about actually doing the chores around the house.
I have always appreciated anything written by Yamasaki and this book is no exception. I really love April’s intellectual and scholarly mind coupled with her incredible passion and fueled by her pastoral sensitivity to truly care for her readers. This is a book that I am excited to share with my friend and with any other young church leaders I meet. I feel many would benefit from the wisdom and depth of insight she imparts to all who are willing to be taught.