Dear Unborn Son,
If you ever end up being born, I am going to do my very best to help teach you a few things.
I hope you will grow up knowing that you will always be loved and cherished no matter what your interests are. I hope that you will always know that you have a place in our house even if you decide that you like dance, gymnastics, or ballet. I hope you will come to see your masculinity as more than monster trucks and dumbells. I hope you will understand that true manhood begins with being so confident in yourself that you simply don’t care what your peers are doing. I hope you will learn to be yourself.
I hope that you will grow up knowing that men and women are equal and that as a result of this knowledge that you will treat your sisters (both biological and in Christ) with the utmost respect. I hope that you will learn to honour and defend your wife at any cost – even at the cost of your own life. I hope that you will learn how to lead a family, but also how to step back and let her lead when that needs to happen. I pray that one day God will give you the most beautiful wife of all and that she will always remain beautiful in your eyes no matter how old and wrinkly she gets.
I pray that as you grow older you will begin to question the stereotypes and unfair assumptions our culture places on women. I hope you will stand up for women when they are being teased or treated disrespectfully in school. I pray that you will one day open up theology textbooks written by both Walter Bruggemann and Phyllis Tribble. I pray that you will try to make a difference in your field by allowing more women’s voices to be heard.
I sincerely hope that you will never be okay with violence towards women. I pray that you will work hard at changing this culture which puts down victims and does nothing to defend the rights of the weak and the oppressed. I pray that you will never misunderstand what a woman being the “weaker vessel” truly means. I pray that instead of using it to explain away why women are so easily victims, that you will instead see that verse as meaning that women are a treasured vessel that we should seek to serve and protect with all of our life-breath.
I pray that from the moment you are born that you will know that your identity lies in far more than your sexuality. I pray that while you cannot change your maleness that you will redefine what “maleness” truly entails. I pray that one day you will see your sexuality as not simply tied to one specific physical act, but to an entire awareness of the body, mind, and soul God created you with. I pray that you will view your future wife in the same way.
I pray that you will learn to take responsibility for your actions. I pray that you will never blame your mistakes and mishaps on another, but that you will learn lessons from your failures. I pray that you will know that after a devastating day you can come home and your father and I will still love you. Most importantly, I pray that after you come back heartbroken for the first time, rejected, and worn-out that you will know that you are selfishly loved by the Creator and Father Himself.
In all things, I pray that you will always strive for excellency and to be a man of God. I pray that you will learn to be both compassionate and bold. Both humble and yet not self-effacing. I pray that you will learn what true love is in a culture that has marred God’s true intentions for relationships. I pray that you will begin to see God as both your Father and your Mother. As both a Creator and Sustainer. As both a Challenger and a Comforter.
I close this letter with the seal of my love and with my warmest embrace.
Your Future Mother